Got a big challenge on my hands.... to use an analogy.. my "ship" is in danger of sailing into the "Doldrums"..... I couldn't post yesterday for having to struggle all day at the wheel, and keeping watch all night so as to stay "on course" and not get blown into the "Doldrums".......not out of danger yet.. but enough of that!! I cannot afford to focus too much energy on negative thoughts.....it's very bad for me.. I've learnt this through experience and being the salt-encrusted hardy old "seacap'n" that I am these days, well, let's just say I know how to read the "wind"and "waves".....
I went to three exercise classes over two days, yesterday and today. Plus a run. Also by the time this day is finished I'll be able to add in two walks with the dogs, been for one this morning and going to go again at 3 o'clock. Good to be healthy enough to do these things again!!! I can tell that I have lost some fitness as well as strength from being sick this month..mainly upper body strength.. legs don't seem too shabby! I will have to build up again... and also I'm going to spend more time being physically active as it helps a lot with keeping my mind in a good space.
I was really pleased with myself today. I took Paul his lunch which I have mentioned I do every now and then for a treat... and I declined to eat a Hungry Jack's Whopper myself. I ordered an upgrade so I could share some of his fries (didn't think I could make it home without SOME food!) but I planned to come home and eat some baked beans and maybe oven- fry some of the new curly fries I found last week while shopping... mmm, yum! Not sorry in the least I didn't partake of the "ground cow burger".... I was tempted, to be honest... but I have a very effective means of managing meat cravings since I read that book ( "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Safron Foer).. I wonder to myself whether or not I would be eating the meat from the cow that was getting stabbed in the behind to hurry it along or the cow who was having its neck cut while fully conscious, who was "crying, with its tongue hanging out"...or whether this was one of the pigs who got "chased alive into the scalding tank".. or a chicken that was "stomped on so that it popped".. ( I have asked myself if that chicken's body would still continue to be processed or whether it just got thrown out as it would have been damaged and not suitable?)...but I always can remember once when I went to buy chicken wings which I LOVE ... they were on special for $2.99 kg.. I had planned to get 4kg or something...... when I went to the counter I saw that the wings were all covered with red marks like bruises or something... every single one of them...I felt really awful and didn't buy them... it didn't stop me buying them altogether.. but that day I could not buy them wondering what injuries or transport conditions (or what????) had caused them to have this appearance......I really hope thinking like this will help me become more and more of a vegetarian.. it's just that I KNOW I just "forget" about it sometimes...or I start thinking stuff such as "Oh well, it has already been killed anyway, whether or not I eat it or not" .....I "forgot" about the poor little pig for instance that a friend served at her Hawaiiian party one time a few years ago... he was only a little baby( dead of course, thank goodness, I wouldn't have coped if they had killed him then and there..oh God, no!!).. they roasted him on a spit, whole.. and you could see every little feature of his face, all golden and crackly, but still with eyelashes and eybrows and his little eyes were closed.. oh!!! brings tears to mine just writing about it now.. I tried really hard not to eat meat(again) after seeing this poor little creature, that night I ate the salads that were available and shortly afterwards I embarked on the 8 months of being vegan ......but I forgot about him after a while, I wasn't able to keep the vegan diet up and eventually I just forgot about the little fella until recently when I was reading my diary entry I wrote about him...
Well, that's about all I can "safely" write today about such things... I'm going to take that second walk with the dogs now and when I come home I'm going to start preparing the ROAST for dinner.. yeah that's right, the ROAST... a yummy Sanitarium VEGE ROAST!!!!!!
:) :) :)
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