My Plan

I've decided to do a few "actions" in regards to yesterday's post. Last night I had to force myself to think about things other than what I had read in "Eating Animals" at least ten times. It made me realise how much of my waking life is spent thinking about stuff that stresses me out to the max. To the point of bringing on a full-blown panic/anxiety attack on many occasions. ( I also think a lot about terrible things that I read in the news or see on television). I was a bit surprised to find that I had a bit of trouble finding something good to focus on... in the end I thought of a calendar I have that was given to me by my friend. It features pictures of Thai monks and the tigers they care for in their sanctuary. The calendar is outdated but the photos are so beautiful and peaceful and give me so much hope and happiness... visualising the pictures in my mind's eye last night helped me transfer my thoughts from hopeless and hurtful images to ones of joy and loving kindness.
I awoke with some solutions and strategies I can put into place that will make me feel happier and more at peace with myself. I do not think that I can be a vegan full stop. Not yet... I will try.. I am not sure how I am going to go about a few things, but I have decided that;

1. I will eat vegan as much as possible. One day at a time. That means I will not worry about what I'm going to do next time I'm at a restaurant with people. I will deal with that THEN and I will do my best THEN.

2.I will not read anymore about animal cruelty. I don't think there is much that I do not know about and I am glad that I know or else it would not make me think twice about purchasing and eating the products of suffering. But it makes me feel so sad and sick and hopeless which does me no good and does not help any animal either for that matter. I will look for stories of kindness to animals and kindness in the world and think about those instead. I am confident I will not "forget" the awful stuff.... but I shall keep those things in their rightful place, not allowing them to destroy my peace of mind or my hopes for a better future, not giving them more energy than they already have over LIFE.

Oh.. that doesn't sound like much but I think if I can do these two things at least it will be a good start. My awesome husband says he is happy to eat vegan at home. He did without any complaints for 8 months during my attempt at vegan life before....he did order meat when we went out but not once did he ever ask for meat at home. He did say a bit of cheese would not have been unwelcome!! I will probably still eat a bit of cheese myself for the time being... but there are a lot of totally vegan meals I can make that will make dishes requiring cheese or eggs occasional rather than regular....